Hello Mom or Dad,
You are probably exhausted and getting desperate. Chances are you are here because of one or combination of these reasons:
...you are losing your mind from the frequent night awakenings
…. you dread at the thought of bedtime and you do not look forward when the sun sets
…. you have read so many articles, books (if you have the time) and snippets of information and now getting even more confused about what is right for your baby
…. you are not sure what you are doing wrong
….you are exhausted from the just the thought of going through another round of bedtime battle
…. you are looking for a solution that speaks to your heart and your parenting style.
You can’t bear to sleep train or leave your child crying alone to sleep. …. you are just longing for more sleep.
How do I know this? Because I had a baby who refused to sleep and used me as a human pacifier all night. And I have helped hundreds of parents with a baby or a toddler who won’t sleep. So I want you to know that there is hope. Your baby CAN sleep more and peacefully.
I’m Sarah Ong, certified baby sleep coach. I spent years of training and researching to help parents like you help their baby get more sleep using a proven approach that does not require you to sacrifice the secure attachment your baby needs.
Do you wonder sometimes if there is something wrong… with your baby? With you? But really… there is nothing wrong… with anyone here.
When I first started helping other parents who had babies who just outrightly refused to sleep and won’t stay asleep, I just followed the mainstream ways I had learned and used myself. Sometimes this strategy worked, and sometimes it didn’t.
Then I tried other approaches I had been taught in my training, and again… it was hit or miss… especially with certain babies.
Then, I discovered the key.
It was like a hidden secret ingredient that made everything come together. It’s really no magic or miracle. I just discovered this solution because I put in a lot of effort to do my own research plus I have worked with hundreds of families who were struggling.
Through these experiences, I learned the ONE ESSENTIAL CHANGE that every parent must make to get rid of sleep issues… regardless of whether your baby is 3 weeks or 3 years old.
I respect the parenting approaches that we all choose for ourselves and for our babies. We all have our own reasons to choose how we parent based on our own values, core beliefs and experience.
What I offer is another approach that will resonate with some parents. I aim to help parents to provide all the secure attachment they want for their baby while still getting enough sleep.
How Is My Approach Different?
To fully understand how it is different, I use an approach called Aware Parenting that fully involves our baby’s emotional wellbeing.
In this model, we learn that babies have feelings and emotional memory starting from being in the womb and these feelings that surface from birth need to be heard.
Even if we as parents have tried to minimize stress for our babies by gentle birth, co-sleeping, breastfeeding on demand, babywearing and promptly responding to their immediate needs, our babies still experience painful and uncomfortable feelings.
If a baby has gone through a difficult time in utero, birth trauma or separation after birth, she will have even more bigger feelings to express. Usually these feelings are expressed through crying.
This is why crying in Aware Parenting approach is used as a function to heal from stress, painful and uncomfortable feelings.
Crying in the loving arms of his parents promote his feelings to release and for baby to heal emotionally.
In controlled crying, a baby is left to cry alone for certain period of time. When the baby cries alone, he is left to feel fear and anxiety and ends up in a state of high level of stress for the baby to deal with.
Through this method, a baby will use a new way to self-soothe by either clutching on a blanket/stuffed toy, sucking on a thumb or pacifier to repress his feelings because no one is there with him to support the feelings that he needs to work on healing.
In Classical Attachment Parenting approach, parents usually stop their baby’s crying by distracting them with comfort nursing, jiggling, shushing, rocking and baby wearing them.
While this meets their baby’s immediate need for physical closeness, it does not give the space for their baby to express his true feelings that are bubbling inside. By 6 months of age, a baby usually has formed a strong control pattern to repress his feelings. He would demand for a feed or comfort latching when he feels upset, or to be entertained when his painful and uncomfortable feelings start coming up.
This makes it confusing for breastfeeding mothers to really tell whether her baby is truly hungry or has a need to release.
So instead of just looking at one specific issue with sleep problem, I would look at what goes on in the day and evening.
What we do during the day is deeply connected to what happens at night. And exactly the same is true for babies and children.