Ever since my daughter had been toilet trained when she was about 2 years 4 months, I never pushed her to also be toilet trained at night. This went on for a year. During the time of one year, there was the transition from cot to bed. I thought it would be a good time for her to start night toilet training. However, learning from my experience with my eldest who is now 6, I know I should take it easy. I refused to use the mattress sheet protector and the thought of changing the wet sheets in the middle of the night really made me feel lazy just thinking about it. Besides, I did not want for her to go without diapers cold turkey.
Instead, what I did was wait until she’s ready. By this I mean, I could talk to her about the idea of staying dry in the night by her waking up on her own when she feels the urge to pee – and she has the mental capacity to understand it.
So about 2 weeks ago, I started discussing with her about the idea of her diapers staying dry in the morning. And if she could manage that, she was going to get a special present. The idea of getting a mysterious special present was a good motivator for her already. At that point, I didn’t have an idea what I was going to reward her with.
Week 1 – The first couple of days, her morning diaper was still wet with pee but as the days gone by, she could wake up the first half of the night before I went to bed and asked to use the toilet. But she didn’t manage to wake again the second time so she still had pee in her diaper. I kept saying, “Oh we have a kencing diaper this morning. That means you still can’t get that special present yet. It’s okay, you can try again tomorrow. I know you can do it.” She was really determined to show to me and herself that she could do it. By the end of week 1, she finally managed to wake up with no pee in her diaper. I asked her if she wanted a toy or special time with Mama to have an ice cream, as her special present. She chose the latter. I was very pleased with her choice.
Week 2 – Three consecutive mornings later, she woke up with dry diapers. So I put out to her the idea of going off the diapers at night. At first she was hesitant. But when we started doing bedtime routine that night, she announced that she did not want to wear the diaper anymore. I was a little nervous because I was afraid she may have an accident and I would have to change the bed sheet in the night. But I had to trust and listen to her.
You know what? Ever since then, she hasn’t had any bedwetting incident! I couldn’t be more proud. I gave her a high five. I said, “You did it! You did it all by yourself. I knew you could do it.”
Needless to say, her confidence level is soaring right now. She decided on her own that she does not need diapers because she is now a big girl and would not fit into one anymore. Aww.. she’s growing up.
Even if sometime in the next few weeks she suddenly wants to wear diaper again, I would allow it. Because I trust that she trusts her body, her feelings and confidence with regards to controlling her own bodily fluid even in her sleep.
It amazes me how effective and powerful it is to be an aware and conscious parent. You should try it too. My daughters and I bond a lot better, they tell me things that are bothering them and they trust that they have that emotional safety with their Mama. Mama will listen without judging, distracting, or spanking. I know for a fact that by being a more present mother, my children are flourishing very well.