I was once asked how I manage to run a solopreneur business, raise two daughters and take care of the household without a helper.
To some moms, they think I manage this effortlessly and that I am ‘lucky’ to have it so easy.
I never thought I’d share my daily routine with anyone but I thought it would make you see that I struggle just like any other moms – with or without helper.
I used to have a helper, well, 3 altogether actually, one after another. But by the third time it didn’t work out, my husband and I decided not to hire anymore and just work around our own resources as a team.
The last helper I had was 3 years ago.
It was really hard, and it still is! But I suppose when our children are bigger and that they can shoulder some responsibilities, it does help a little.
So typically, this is what my day would look like:
5am – Alarm goes off
5.30am – Showered and work on draft emails or sleep plans for clients
6.20am – Wake older daughter up to get ready for school, then prepare breakfast
7am – Hugs and kisses to both husband and daughter before they leave for work/school
7.30am – Wake younger daughter up to get ready for preschool
8am – School run
9am – Back to home office to continue working OR on the way to a family’s home for coaching session OR to Publika for private consultation
11am – Prepare lunch, usually light ones
12-1pm – School run
1-5pm – Children at home, lunch, homework, play time, watch TV and I continue working in between
5-7pm – Prepare dinner and have dinner
7pm – Bedtime routine begins with shower
8pm – Kids go to sleep (the bigger they are, I find that the longer they need to wind down and catch up with me)
9pm – Me time and spend time with hubby, also It’s a cut off time for me to be on the phone as my own loving limits to screen time.
10.30pm – Sleep
Notice that my children don’t take afternoon naps anymore, so I constantly need to be responsive to their requests in the afternoon.
When do I do my laundry and cleaning? When I wake up, the first thing I do is put the dirty clothes in the washer. By the time it is done, I hang it up to dry before morning school run.
I hire part time cleaners to do housekeeping on a bi-weekly basis. In between, we all chip in with our duties to maintain the cleanliness of the house.
My older daughter (7yo) feeds the cats, does her own books to bring to school the next day and washes her own school shoes on the weekend. She also helps me cook in the kitchen these days.
My youngest daughter (4yo) likes to wipe. So I gave her the chore to wipe tables, furniture and counter tops.
Do they do it well? No not really haha.. drives me nuts sometimes.. but I learned to let go. I learned to let go of perfectionism and being anal.
“Better done than perfect” – or something like that. I got this quote from the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I love it. It’s about getting things done, rather than wanting things to be perfect before we begin with something.
I also subscribe to my mentor, Marion Rose’s newsletter. Today I received an email from her about listening to what we want, what we long for, what our desires are by simply acting on them and let our second-guessing, fear and doubt out of the way.
I was scared when we decided not to get anymore helper.
I was fearful that it might be too much for me.
I doubted that I could get anything done with work and being a mom at the same time at home.
But I just did it anyway. And trust that things will fall into place. If they don’t, I will have plan B, or C, or D.
I know that I will take actions to do whatever it takes to get the outcome I desire.
Do I like waking up at 5am every day? Who does?
But I do it because I get to have uninterrupted time, and the house is quiet so that I can think clearly. There’s something serene about being alone with work before the crack of dawn.
I do this because I want to create a course for mothers to receive support when it comes to their baby sleep.
I know how isolating it feels when your baby doesn’t sleep well.
So I want myself and the course to be the listening ear for you. That I’m right here, and I know it’s scary.. but I know you can do it!
I wonder if you resonate with this?
Have you taken big actions or made big decisions about listening to what you really want, and then act upon it?
Have you become aware with your own feelings when you second guess, or postpone, or procrastinate, or wait until things get better on their own?
How do you feel when you say, “yes let’s do this!”?
I invite you to listen to what you want when you experience your child waking up frequently in the night, crying and screaming, feeding all night long when she’s already a toddler, and then have such anxiety about the hours of sleep you are getting to prepare you when daytime comes.
I know it’s scary when you think of changing the way your baby sleeps.
I know how impossible it feels that your baby or child can actually sleep at a much longer stretch in the night.
I know how crazy it might sound to hear that your baby is able to fall asleep next to you without being breastfed.
Last week, I received an amazing feedback from a mom I supported virtually, she’s in Singapore:
“Things are progressing. He’s sleeping longer hours and ok with being put to bed drowsy and just before he falls asleep! Mega achievement. He still wakes once or twice to nurse but he seems to want to cut it down himself thought. Sometimes he will nurse a bit and then say ‘not nice’ and unlatch and roll away. Your methods and advice have been really really helpful, thanks so much.” – Mom to 2 year old toddler who used to constantly nurse throughout the day and night.
Let me guide you, if you are ready to let fear and doubt of the way, and if you are ready to receive support.